if you could see what i see

Synopsis: “A moving, thoughtful novel that delves into the heart of going home, the challenge of facing loss, and freedom of finally letting go.”

Every single book has its own personality.  For all of us serious readers out there, we know this already.  It’s a given.  Indeed, it may be the very reason for our reading addiction.  Some are sweet and easy to read, others can be a struggle and difficult to finish.  This is the latter. 

In the beginning I thought I had this story pegged.  The family lingerie business is failing, and our matriarch, Regan O’Rourke, aka Grandma, decides it is time everyone pulls together to save it.  My theory was supported when she gathers her three granddaughters around her, telling them straight out that Lace, Satin, and Baubles was now their responsibility, and failure is not an option.  Then I realized I was only partially right because everything changes from there.  We are quickly introduced to the three sisters and understand immediately a clash of personalities is highly probable.  Lacey, the oldest, already with three teenage children, is aghast after realizing she’s pregnant with her fourth child.  Tory, the middle sister, is as feisty as her grandmother, and as flamboyant as her underwear.  And Meggie.  The youngest of the three.  She is our narrator and our heroine.  Coming home after a years-long absence, she is broken and emotionally bleached from a devastating marriage.  Haunted by nightmares and daymares, she spends every single day trying to maintain the fragile bubble disguising itself as sanity. 

Cathy Lamb has written a strong novel that revolves around these women and their own individual struggles as they come together to once again function as a family.  Their love for each other is fierce, but heartbreakingly so.  My most favorite part is a conversation Meggie has with her nephew Hayden.  He has made a life changing decision, and he comes to her to explain before even going to his parents.  Meggie’s love for Hayden is so evident it reaches thru the pages.  We can feel her fear for him, the “ugly level” of disdain this may raise him to.  And yet she understands he needs to be true to himself. 

There are other issues.  What looks to be in the beginning as PTSD from an abusive relationship soon turns to the truth of mental illness and the complete devastation it unleashes upon surrounding loved ones.  Personalities clash.  Trust is hard earned.  And efforts to save the lingerie shop culminate in a Fashion Show, or Fashion Story, when Meggie picks up her camera to capture the lives in the factory around them.  We realize this is not just a business.  It’s a lifeline; shelter for those escaping their most dire hour and how they found not just safety, but acceptance.  

Things to know.

This book is a hard lean toward feministic outlooks.  Though not every male in the story is cast as an evil being, references to men as wife beating bastards, if not actually written, are very much implied.  Purposeful conception via one-night stands is also evident.  There is actual man bashing that makes you wince; but the author knows this and remedies it by having her characters wince right along with you.   There is outrageous sexual advice, and free conversations about undergarments from the whole lingerie staff.  Regardless, this story DOES capture relevant and modern issues.  Mental health, gender identity, suicide.  It allows us the opportunity to see what other’s see; the fragility behind another’s eyes and the strength each must endure to move forward.

Last thoughts. 

I liked this book for many reasons.  Grandma’s insistence that “no body promised you a bucket of pansies.  So don’t be one.” And her belief that every woman is made beautiful just by being herself.  I found myself laughing out loud in some parts, and shedding tears in others.  This is not a predictable story.  And the people we meet; the sisters, the staff, all come together to make their own family and are stronger because of the past lives they all endured somehow or another.  The end can be a lesson of forgiveness; for others, and for ourselves. 

In the end….

Was this the very best book I’ve ever read?  No.  Was this an uncomfortable read?  Sometimes.   Would I still recommend it to others?  Absolutely.